My Life Today

A snapshot

I live in South Florida. I came down here 6 years ago for a drug addiction treatment program and quickly decided to stay and build a life. ~4 of those intervening years saw me completely disengaged with recovery, and with self-discipline more generally, but I’ve run that experiment and the data is in: that is not an optimal life for me.

Deerfield Beach, near the Christmas holiday

Consequently I’m still in early recovery. I have a sponsor (with +6 years sober) who I meet with every week. We do secret recovery things. I may or may not attend meetings 3-5 times a week and those meetings could possibly focus on the 12 step program of recovery (or not):

1. We admitted we were powerless over addiction — that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

They seem pretty innocuous, I know. There seems to be very little there on first examination aside from platitudes and some vague religious nonsense. You don’t have to tell me… I’m pretty smart and it took me more than four years to begin to understand them. Sometimes there’s a great deal of meaning behind apparently simple statements.

I wake up every morning around 5-5:30am. I pray. I usually go to the gym (Delray Beach or Deerfield Beach LA Fitness) or I run at the beach. I sit there for 15-20 minutes and meditate and, because I’m a normal citizen of the 21st century, take photos of the growing warm glow on the Eastern horizon and send them to people.

I get coffee and a breakfast sandwich and go to work (1.5 miles from the beach). I’m not supposed to be there until 8am but I’m always at least 30 minutes early. I sit at my desk and write and check emails. I’m an executive assistant for a big wine and spirits distributor. Some weeks are very light and 1-2 weeks each month are very busy. I schedule meetings and submit accounting reports and create presentations. I can watch YouTube while I work and so I often do-history lessons or film criticism or science lectures.

Work stuff

After work I sometimes sleep in my car for 20 minutes, and then go to the gym, or for a run, or meet with my sponsor, or to a meeting. If I have idle moments I sometimes call people. I make sure to pause 3-4 times per day to give thanks for everything I have. I’m usually in bed by 9:30pm and I fall asleep quickly, although I often wake throughout the night. I try to keep an eye on the future and shape my activities in that direction without letting future plans and dreams overwhelm my present contentment. My future plans (in order of proximity) are:

• resume Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practice

• resume BJJ competition

• begin sponsoring new members in recovery

• resume dating

• increase volunteer activity

• move into an apartment

• find a new job

• buy a house

There are many details that I’ve omitted but I don’t think they would interest you. Frankly I’m not sure if this interests you. I have almost no ability to predict the reaction my writing will arouse in any particular person, or people as a whole. The details aren’t important. This is my life, which I try to keep simple, wholesome, and socially useful. If you can make your life conform to these criteria I believe that you will find your time well spent… but I’m certainly no expert.

Thanks for reading!