Spiritual Growth
Some fragments from my life
Spiritual growth or enlightenment are understood through the lens of our culture, which is materialistic, short-sighted, and self-centered. Meditation is principally promoted as a way of reducing anxiety, or augmenting creativity. Spirituality means certain clubs or social circles or accessories or books. Every meaningful part of our lives is partially or fully understood in culture as an identity (tied to certain values and lifestyle markers) and a pattern of consumption. Spiritual growth requires a break from this conception of life, and so spirituality and our consumption-driven society are oil and water. They’re not incompatible, but the spiritual imperative requires one to ignore and minimize the demands of consumerism and consumerism will always ignore and minimize and distort the dictates of spirituality.
My recent prayers have been requests for patience and equanimity in the face of what I perceive as an onslaught of bad ideas. I pray for other-centeredness, which is difficult in practice since I am a single man. I can focus my life on helping and considering friends and meeting attendees and coworkers but I lack the natural gravitational pull of selflessness which a marriage or a family provides. I pray for serenity and peace in my mind and in my dreams.
Here are some prayers which I’ve learned in the context of recovery. They will be familiar to many:
Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O God, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
‘Third Step’ Prayer
God, I offer myself to Thee – To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life.
‘Seventh Step’ Prayer
My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding.
Lastly, Vipassana meditation practice is well-known and is a solid part of any spiritual program. Less well-known is Metta, or loving-kindness meditation. In Vipassana, the practitioner sits in pose and concentrates upon their breath, allowing thoughts to appear and vanish without judgement or engagement. In Metta, the practitioner sits quietly and focuses his understanding and goodwill outward: first upon those he/she loves, then upon friends, acquaintances, enemies, strangers, etc. It is a useful practice for building love and patience and it seems to increase personal happiness and detachment from desires.
