I appreciated learning more about you through this, and as usual we are in agreement. I especially appreciated the points about how women are generally not told we’re wrong, and it’s to our detriment. I thank my lucky stars I have someone who tells me when I’m wrong and isn’t conflict avoidant in our relationship. I also may not initially have gone for him if we had seen each other on a dating app, but we instead met on zoom at work a few jobs ago. We got to know each other at work at first, so I knew he was driven even if I was further along in my career at the time. If I had applied arbitrary standards of status and conscientiousness I wouldn’t be the most satisfied I’ve ever been in life. I am really grateful that I found my way out of this false consciousness, and I really hope more women can do the same.
I find that women who are in functional marriages, or have started businesses, or competed in athletics, etc., tend to take a more nuanced view of things. Some of it is just maturity, and recognizing that the world's a big place and we all have a lot of growing to do. Unfortunately people can get stuck in a place in which growth and connection are actively retarded, if you embrace victim narratives or promote your own feelings. You're written plenty about that. There are many people out there keeping promising and beautiful doors closed simply by their attitudes and values. I'm very happy to hear that you've found somebody. I take encouragement whenever ANYONE I know finds love or marriage or makes children. It makes me think that maybe things aren't as bad as I fear.
And I wasn't married with children, like I wrote in my screenshot. I just said that as a way to highlight how ridiculous a therapeutic philosophy like 'prioritize myself before everyone else' is. If I had to come up with the absolute most corrosive life philosophies to introduce into the world, that one would probably be on the list.
As I understand it, a key step in overcoming additional is owning that you have responsibility and agency in the situation. Bad stuff that happens is a stimulus, not an inevitability
Can you take mindset shift to other difficult situations?
Interesting. Brings many thoughts to mind and it is shame there is no discussion about the ideas in this article.
I found out that touristy staff annoys me. I actually realised a lot of it was about social acceptance. If you are... in Malta... you need to see, y, z... What were you doing during your holiday?
I decided not to judge myself for things I enjoy. Even if it means I am reading in my hotel room (or knitting) at home instead of going for another organised recommended bus trip. Even that sounds indulgent but I am hoping that I can escape my inner pull to be socially acceptable and grow in the stuff that matters.
I appreciated learning more about you through this, and as usual we are in agreement. I especially appreciated the points about how women are generally not told we’re wrong, and it’s to our detriment. I thank my lucky stars I have someone who tells me when I’m wrong and isn’t conflict avoidant in our relationship. I also may not initially have gone for him if we had seen each other on a dating app, but we instead met on zoom at work a few jobs ago. We got to know each other at work at first, so I knew he was driven even if I was further along in my career at the time. If I had applied arbitrary standards of status and conscientiousness I wouldn’t be the most satisfied I’ve ever been in life. I am really grateful that I found my way out of this false consciousness, and I really hope more women can do the same.
I find that women who are in functional marriages, or have started businesses, or competed in athletics, etc., tend to take a more nuanced view of things. Some of it is just maturity, and recognizing that the world's a big place and we all have a lot of growing to do. Unfortunately people can get stuck in a place in which growth and connection are actively retarded, if you embrace victim narratives or promote your own feelings. You're written plenty about that. There are many people out there keeping promising and beautiful doors closed simply by their attitudes and values. I'm very happy to hear that you've found somebody. I take encouragement whenever ANYONE I know finds love or marriage or makes children. It makes me think that maybe things aren't as bad as I fear.
And I wasn't married with children, like I wrote in my screenshot. I just said that as a way to highlight how ridiculous a therapeutic philosophy like 'prioritize myself before everyone else' is. If I had to come up with the absolute most corrosive life philosophies to introduce into the world, that one would probably be on the list.
No I gathered that you aren’t married but I did catch the addiction thing. And that’s perhaps because I have one too.
As I understand it, a key step in overcoming additional is owning that you have responsibility and agency in the situation. Bad stuff that happens is a stimulus, not an inevitability
Can you take mindset shift to other difficult situations?
Interesting. Brings many thoughts to mind and it is shame there is no discussion about the ideas in this article.
I found out that touristy staff annoys me. I actually realised a lot of it was about social acceptance. If you are... in Malta... you need to see, y, z... What were you doing during your holiday?
I decided not to judge myself for things I enjoy. Even if it means I am reading in my hotel room (or knitting) at home instead of going for another organised recommended bus trip. Even that sounds indulgent but I am hoping that I can escape my inner pull to be socially acceptable and grow in the stuff that matters.
What a mess.
You might appreciate this podcast:
https://open.substack.com/pub/soberchristiangentlemanpodcast/p/s2-ep-63-be-the-change-pornography?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=31s3eo